In the year 2000, I rededicated my life to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I remember that year like it was yesterday. I was so in awe of God and on fire for Him that I wanted nothing more than to know Him on such an intimate level. I searched God like my life depended on it. I was drawn to every Bible study I could find. I was in church every waking moment (so it seemed). I read my Bible everyday - morning, noon, and night. I prayed at any given moment. I wanted to breathe, eat, and live God.
My life changed and I became I completely different person. My quiet times were so intense and personal. I was in love with God! One day in Sunday School, we were in discussion and I gave my opinion on something or said something and our teacher said to me, in front of everyone that he really enjoyed having me in class. He said that I brought in a fresh breath of air because of the fire that I was on. He said, "Don't be like the rest of us, who have lost that fire." That was the scariest thing I had heard. I rushed home and got on my knees and I prayed to my Father that He would not allow that to happen to me.
10 years later and I am right where I was afraid to be. I lost my way. I took my eyes of the prize. And what I have realized is this - God did not let this happen to me - I allowed it to happen. It was my responsibility. It was my relationship to do with what I wanted. God has never left me. For the past few years, I have recognized this and my deepest desire to be back where I once was. But my biggest hurdle is me.
As I recognize this, I pray that this year will the be the start of my me going back. Going back from once I came. My prayer for 2011 is just that. That I do what I need to do to get back to my first love. Please pray for me on this journey.
No comments:
Post a Comment